Shadow's Despair
by Rirureddo
Summary: Shadow The Hedgehog is being tormented by his memories of the past. Can Rouge The Bat help him overcome the past and heal the pain in his heart?


_**~Shadow's Despair~**_

Shadow the Hedgehog was sitting on the roof of Club Rouge and was looking out at the Night Babylon section of Station Square. He had a lot on his mind and coming here helped him relax and clear his head. He looked up at the moon shining against the night sky and let out a deep sigh.

"How can I feel so bad on such a beautiful night?"

Shadow has been feeling extremely guilty ever since he defeated Black Doom and the Black Arms one month ago. The Earth came real close to being destroyed by the alien invaders and Shadow felt that he was to blame for it. Even though the Black Arms were defeated and the earth was saved he couldn't help but feel responsible for the whole incident.

Also adding to Shadow's guilt was the fact that although he decided to leave the past behind him, certain events from the past continued to weigh heavily on his heart on torment him: The death of Maria, Professor Gerald going insane, Space Colony Ark almost colliding into the earth, Metal Sonic absorbing his powers and almost taking over the world, and the destruction of Emerl.

Every single one of those events left a scar in Shadow's heart, a scar that he truly believed was never going to heal. His eyes became watery and he hung his head as realization hit him.

"If I had never been created none of this would have ever happened…,"

Then the Ultimate Life Form did something that he hadn't done in a very long time.

He cried.

* * *

Meanwhile, inside of Club Rouge, Rouge the Bat was lying on the couch in the living room and was watching TV. She was flipping through channels until she came to a stop on a news channel. There were three young women being interviewed and they were talking about how Shadow the Hedgehog had saved the world and the lives of millions exactly one month today. They also wanted to say that they were eternally grateful to him for giving them the chance to live out the rest of their lives.

Rouge couldn't help but smile as she thought about her dark companion, who was also her closest friend who one month ago had put his life on the line for the people of the earth, including herself. She remembered how worried she was about him after he defeated Black Doom and the first thing she did after seeing him was run up to him and embrace him in a giant hug. Needless to say, Shadow was a little surprised but he hugged her back. Rouge blushed slightly as she remembered that day. Although she would never admit it out loud, she loved it when Shadow had his arms around her. To her, it was the greatest feeling that she had ever felt in her life.

Rouge snapped out of her little daydream as she began to wonder where Shadow was.

_'He couldn't possibly still be on the roof,'_ she thought to herself. _'It's been well over an hour since he told me that he was going up there to clear his head.'_

Rouge decided to go check on her friend. She turned off the TV, got up off the couch, and made her way up the stairs and to her bedroom. As she entered her room she walked over to her sliding window, opened it, and stepped out onto her balcony. Then she opened her wings and flew up to the roof of Club Rouge. When she landed she saw Shadow sitting just a few feet from her.

Rouge smiled as she saw him. On some nights she and Shadow would just sit up on the roof or on her balcony and just talk to each other about anything that came to mind.

She walked up to him and said, "Hey Shadow. I was wondering if you were still up here. I was just coming to…,"

She stopped mid-sentence after she heard a sound coming from Shadow. As she got closer she realized that Shadow was crying. Her face immediately turned into one of concern and worry as she ran to Shadow's side.

She put her hand on his shoulder and asked him in a concerned voice, "Shadow, are you ok? What's wrong?"

Shadow didn't answer her. He just continued to cry. It was almost as if he didn't even acknowledge her presence. Rouge positioned herself right beside Shadow and took her hand and gently put it underneath Shadow's chin and turned his head so that he was facing her and spoke again.

"Come on, Shadow. It's me, Rouge. Talk to me, tell me what's bothering you."

Shadow opened his eyes, looked at Rouge, and not only did he hear the concern and worry in her voice. He also saw it in her face. At that moment she reminded him so much of Maria. Shadow tried to say something but the words wouldn't come out. He felt himself break again and he threw his arms around Rouge's waist and buried his face in her chest as her began to cry harder.

Rouge lovingly and almost motherly wrapped her arms around the poor hedgehog and held him close to her as she said, "It's ok Shadow. I'm here for you. Everything's going to be ok."

Shadow simply held onto her as he continued to cry. All of those memories and events had really taken their toll on him and he let out all of the pain, remorse, guilt, and despair that he had kept pent up for so long.

After a couple of minutes Shadow's crying became softer as he began to regain his composure. He sniffled a bit as he pulled away from Rouge and sat back up although his head was still drooping a bit. Rouge kept one of her hands on Shadow's hand, which was on his leg, and used her other hand to gently stroke Shadow's hair quills.

Shadow turned to her and said, "I'm sorry Rouge. I didn't mean to break down in front of you like that."

Rouge shook her head and said, "Its ok Shadow. You had me really worried about you. I've never seen you like that before."

Shadow looked away from her and out to the city as he said, "I just had a lot of things that I was thinking about."

Rouge said, "I wonder what it was you were thinking about that got you so upset. Do you mind if I ask you what it was that was bothering you so much?

Shadow went silent as he began to remember all of the events that caused his breakdown a few minutes ago.

_'Should I tell her or shouldn't I?'_ he thought to himself. _'I don't want to have her worried about me anymore than she already is. And besides I really have to tell someone about this.' _Shadow turned to her and took a deep breath before he began to speak.

"Rouge, I feel that it is all my fault."

Rouge looked at him with a confused look as she took her hands away from his hand and hair. "What are you talking about Shadow? What is your fault?"

"Everything," replied Shadow. "Everything that has happened recently has been all because of me.

"Shadow, I don't understand," said Rouge still slightly confused.

"Rouge, the world has been in danger of being destroyed countless times and I've had either a part in being part of the cause of it or it happened because someone was trying to destroy it because they had a vendetta against me."

Shadow felt his voice breaking as he continued. "And not only that, but many people have suffered because of me as well. Maria was killed, Professor Gerald lost his mind, and Emerl was destroyed."

Rouge's ears drooped as she listened to her best friend let out all of the feelings that he kept pent up for God knows how long. She really felt sorry for Shadow because of what he's been through in his life, but she couldn't believe that he was placing the blame on himself for all that has happened in his life.

"If it wasn't for me being here in the first place none of these things would have ever happened and nobody would have suffered as much as they did," said Shadow as he let out another deep sigh filled with remorse and despair. Then he said it.

"I wish that I had never been created. I don't have a reason to live."

Shadow went completely silent once more as a few more tears fell from his face. Rouge was beyond shocked. She could not believe that those words had come out of Shadow's mouth. Were those events torturing him so much that he was now wishing that he had ever been given life?

Rouge felt herself start to shake as she replayed Shadow's last eight words over and over again in her head. She could not bear hearing her best friend talk this way and it shook her to her very core. She immediately threw her arms around him and pulled him into another embrace.

"Don't say that Shadow," she said in a whisper as she clutched onto him. "Don't even think something like that."

Shadow was caught a little bit off guard by Rouge's sudden action. "Rouge, what are…?"

She interrupted him. "Shadow, listen to me. None of the things that have happened is your fault, and don't you think for one second that it is. The incident that happened on Ark all those years ago happened simply because the people on earth at the time didn't understand you, that's all. They simply jumped to conclusions about you being made specifically for war when that was not the case at all. Like Maria wanted you to do, you were created to bring happiness to the people of earth, not destruction."

Shadow listened to every single word Rouge said to him and gradually her words started sinking in.

She turned her head towards him as she continued. "And I can honestly say that you have given happiness to many people when you saved their lives, Shadow. As a matter of fact, you did more than give them happiness. You also gave them hope. You gave them the hope to look forward to a future filled with happiness and joy instead of one filled with sadness and sorrow."

Rouge's words had really touched Shadow, but then something crossed his mind. "But the professor and Emerl…,"

"Professor Gerald was overcome with the pain of losing Maria, Shadow." said Rouge. "She was his world and she was killed for no reason. It's been over fifty years since that happened and I'm sure that now he realizes what he did was wrong and that that wasn't the right way to go about things. And Emerl, he, like you, was not created for war but to bring happiness to people. And that was just what he did during his time with us. He made all of us happy in different ways but the one thing he did for us all was be our friend. And I'm sure that he, Professor Gerald, and Maria are all looking down on you from heaven right now and are extremely proud of you."

Shadow looked at her and asked, "Do you really think so?"

Rouge slightly pulled away from him but still had her arms around him. She nodded and said, "I'm positive. Do want to know how I know that?"

"How?" asked Shadow.

Rouge replied in a truly sincere voice, "Because I'm proud of you Shadow. I am so proud of you."

Shadow's eyes widened in surprise as he asked her, "You're…proud of…me?

"Yes, Shadow," said Rouge as she put her hands on the sides of Shadow's face. "Not only have you given the people of Earth hope and happiness, you've given that to me as well. Before I met you I was never able to call anyone a friend. But when you came into my life all of that changed. And I have never told you this but after we all thought you had died after the battle against the Final Hazard I broke down crying after we got back to earth."

"You cried? For me?" asked Shadow.

Rouge nodded. "Yes, I did. And I wasn't ashamed for doing it. I would cry a river for the people that I care about."

Shadow looked stunned as she said this. _'She cares about me? She's proud of me? Nobody has ever said that about me before.'_

Rouge then smiled. "I was so thankful that you didn't die. Finding you in Eggman's base was one of the happiest days of my life."

Rouge embraced Shadow once more as she said, "You've given the people of earth something great Shadow. But you have given me the greatest gift that I have ever received. It is a gift even greater than any piece of jewelry that I have ever owned.

Shadow was curious. "Really? And what's that?"

Rouge then spoke in the most genuine and sincere voice that Shadow had ever heard. "You gave me the best friend that I've ever had in my life. I thank God every single day that I met you and that I have you in my life Shadow the Hedgehog."

Rouge then gave Shadow a gentle kiss on his cheek. Needless to say, the Ultimate Life Form was beyond surprised. He blushed a deep red on the spot where she had kissed him and for a moment could not say a word. Rouge couldn't help but giggle at the speechless hedgehog.

After finally regaining his composure, Shadow gave Rouge a smile and wrapped his arms around her and gave her hug.

"Thank you," he said. "Thank you so much Rouge. You were here for me when I needed you the most. I don't know what I would've done if it wasn't for you comforting me. You told me a lot of things that I really needed to hear and I will be eternally grateful to you for what you have done for me."

Rouge smiled and deepened the embrace. "You're welcome Shady."

The two of them held each other a while longer before Rouge said. "It's getting pretty late. Shouldn't we head back inside?"

Shadow thought for a moment before he said, "But it is such a gorgeous night. We haven't sat out here and just enjoyed looking at Station Square at night in a while."

Rouge said, "Yeah, we haven't done that in a while haven't we? Well Iet me think about it. Go inside of my nice warm house and enjoy a well prepared midnight snack? Or sit on the roof with my best friend and enjoy looking out at the beautiful Station Square on a beautiful night?"

Rouge was silent for a second before she said with a smile, "OK you talked me into it."

With that said Rouge wrapped her arm around Shadow's waist and rested her head on his shoulder. Shadow in response wrapped his arm around her shoulders and held her close to him. Then the two best friends just gazed out at Station Square, comforted by the presence of each other.

Shadow then thought to himself, _'I do have a reason to live. Two of them actually. The first is the people of earth. I will continue to make them happy, just like Maria wanted.'_

Shadow then smiled as he looked down at Rouge. _'And the second reason is sitting right beside me. Thank you, Rouge. Thank you for giving me a reason to live.'_

_**~The End~**_


End file.
